The relationship between spouses is a constant work. Labor of both sides. To build strong, stable relationships in marriage, our ancestors followed complex traditions and the so-called rules of etiquette in the family, based on religious teachings. So, the man in the family had her place, and the woman - hers, and therefore, there was little chance for conflicts to arise.

Today, many traditions are a thing of the past. But in vain. Indeed, together with them, a thousand-year heritage, knowledge, wisdom of life, tested by time, was lost. Because of that, it responds today with problems, troubles, misfortune. People are forced to look again for ways to solve their family problems. And someone returns to religious sources, someone to traditional, and someone is looking for answers from psychologists, re-studying and collecting bit by bit the lost heritage.

Here are some useful grains of wisdom, instruction, experience and advice from modern psychologists:

1. The world of women is very different from the world of men.

“And from His signs is that He made wives for you out of yourselves, so that you might find rest in them. He has established love and mercy between you. Truly, in this are the signs for the thinking people ”(surah“ Ar-Rum, ayat 21).

A woman lives with love, she breathes it, charges and radiates it. Love is her whole life. But with men, it's not at all like that. For a man, love is only a part of his life, one of many things. As one psychologist writes: “He would not like to write poetry because he loves; he would like to paint not because he loves. This occupation has its own value for him, not connected in any way with love. And, tired of pictures, music, he would like to fall deeply into love and forget; this is his rest.


See the difference: a man's love is his resting place. When he gets tired of the world, of a thousand things, he wants to fall into the energy of a woman, into her warmth and dissolve. Remember: he loves only if he gets rest, and then he can again draw, write poetry, create ...

Notice how well this reveals the essence of the above verse on the creation of a woman for a man.

2. The wife's thoughts influence the husband's success.

The husband's success depends on the thoughts of his wife (or mother, if there is no wife). When a wife believes in her husband's success, he succeeds, people listen to him. If the wife does not believe in her man with sincere and disinterested faith and believes that he is doing nonsense, then there will be no success. Such a man will be merged with the gray mass, believing that only the chosen ones are lucky.

Behind a strong (successful) man there is always a woman who pours into him a special energy, the one from which a man can transform anything: matter, leadership, success, strength and power. 

The righteous Caliph Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

“Foolish women make their men slaves, thus becoming slave wives. Smart women turn their husbands into sultans and become the wives of overlords. "

As Muhammad Okar said: "A happy marriage is when the husband is humble as a servant, and the wife addresses him as a king." 

The family should show respect and humility towards each other. It's time to eradicate the bad tradition of "ty" relations under the guise of equality. If your languages ​​address each other to "you", let the souls turn to "you".

Let the spouses be like eyes and hands. After all, when your hands hurt, your eyes cry. And when the eyes cry, their hands wipe away their tears.

3. Sometimes we do not understand each other.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “Treat women well, because a woman is created from a rib, and the most curved part of the rib is the upper one, so if you try to straighten it, it will break; but if you leave it as it is, it will still be bent. So treat women well! "

This hadith does not mean that women are inherently crooked or bad. It follows from it that women are delicate creatures that must be handled carefully and carefully. 

Man and woman are two opposites. And the main misunderstanding comes from this difference. So, if a man is bad and he is not in the mood, a woman should not bother him, wanting to show concern. Better to leave him alone with his thoughts, having calmed down, he himself will start a conversation. 

A woman, on the contrary, when she feels bad, she looks for someone to discuss it with, looks for support. But, meeting indifference from a man who thinks that it is important not to touch a person at such times, she feels lonely. Therefore, it is important either to adjust to each other's nature, learning how to act correctly, or to show patience. 

4. A man needs love from his wife.

But not love-care that the mother gives, but love-trust, which strengthens his masculine position in life. No need to patronize a man. He knows everything himself, and if he makes a mistake, he himself will receive a lesson from this. 

A woman is by nature a receiver, so she must always be open to accepting his desire to bestow from a man. However, accept, not beg. Whining and complaining destroy the family. Remember: happiness is not about material possessions.

5. Don't teach your men to be heroes.

They are well aware of both their successes and their mistakes. They fall and rise by themselves. The main thing is to be near. Whatever happens!

If a man is a man, then a woman will also be a woman. Or: "a straight stick will have a straight shadow." Just let everyone fulfill their role in life. A woman can do a man's work, and a man can do a woman's. However, the Almighty has determined for everyone what is more characteristic of their nature, and made it easier for them. The opposite destroys this harmony.

However, do not forget that the main woman in a man's life is his mother. A man's paradise is under his mother's feet. A woman's paradise is in the contentment of her husband. And woe to those men who offend their mothers seeking the satisfaction of their wives!

I would like to end this article with a funny, instructive anecdote about mother-in-law and mother-in-law. After all, they often play an important role in the family relationships of young spouses.  

“A woman who married her daughter and married her son meets a friend with whom they have such a conversation:

- Well, did your son get married successfully? - asks her friend.

- Ah, - the woman sighed, - we were unlucky with my daughter-in-law. Now buy her a fur coat, then a car ... He takes all the money from his son!

- And how's your daughter? Does she have a good husband? - asked the interlocutor. The woman replies:

- Thank God, our son-in-law turned out to be a good one. She carries her daughter in her arms that she does not ask for, does not refuse anything. Look, I bought her a fur coat and bought a car! "

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