For most men, understanding a woman is a difficult task. Even a woman that a man has been married to for years. Now she cries like a child, and even a moment ago everything was fine. Here are 7 thins you won’t hear from your Muslim wife.
She complains about something, but when we give her advice on how to deal with it, she is still not happy. After several years of marriage (and working in family counseling), I realized that I had to worry not so much about what my wife was saying as about what she didn’t say.
1. First of all, she needs your love.
When a wife shows less respect for her husband, he, in turn, shows her less love. And when the husband shows his wife less love, she, in return, shows him less respect. And this vicious circle repeats itself. Stop him before he spins too much. Show your wife how much you love her. This is what she wants. Love her regardless of her flaws and quirks.
2. She’s bored
Every day is the same. Week after week. But it’s not just boredom, it’s also fatigue. She needs to deal with the children and do household chores, and then please you.
Just one thought of all these constant worries makes me feel an irresistible urge to hide under the covers. Imagine, and this is how an ordinary housewife feels.
And let’s not forget that today many Muslim women must manage to cope with household chores, working full time.
Therefore, brothers, I implore you to make your wives feel special.
Arrange for them to rest. Take your wife out for a walk or to a restaurant. Surprise her by bringing home her favorite dessert. Do something from time to time to break the monotony.
3. She wants to hear compliments.
Appreciate her. Everyone needs it. No one wants the work they do to be overlooked or taken for granted. Your wife is not required to cook and clean up after you. But she does it. And she does this on top of all other things: work or school, childcare, efforts to be a good Muslim.
Show your wife that you appreciate it and that you are grateful to her for what she is doing for you and your family.
A simple “thank you” will be a great start.
4. She is terribly jealous.
Be very careful when talking about other women to your wife. Never compare your wife to another woman. Don’t compare your wife to your mom. Don’t compare her to any TV star. Never, ever, compare her to your ex-wife (or other wives).
She wants to believe and think that she is the center of your world. Make her feel it.
Even the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) were jealous. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was jealous of Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her), who was not alive.
Be prepared and accept this kind of jealousy on the part of your wife.
5. A Muslim wife wants you to help her develop as a Muslim.
It is important for a man to take the role of a leader in the family. This is the problem for most Muslim men today. They not only cannot be good leaders, but even more – women (wives, mothers, and even other women in their lives) are forced to take leadership. Your wife wants you to be her leader. And what better way than showing her how to improve as a Muslim? But you cannot show her how to be better if you yourself are not a very good example. Therefore, increase your Iman. Work on yourself and she will reach out to you.
6. She does not like to find fault, but often you yourself are to blame
The generally accepted myth that women love to find fault is not entirely true.
Of course, there are people (both men and women) who are unhappy all the time. Whatever you do, they will always find flaws in everything. Let’s remember the following hadith:
It is reported that Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: One day the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Hell was shown to me, and it turned out that most of its inhabitants were women who showed ingratitude.” He was asked: “Did they not believe in Allah?” He replied: “They showed ingratitude towards their husbands and did not give thanks for the good deeds (which they received). If you do good for a long time to some (of these women), and then she sees something from you (something that she will not like), then (necessarily) she will say: “I have never seen anything good from you!” (Bukhari).
Therefore, Muslim women should be very careful with their nagging, they should not underestimate what their husbands do for them.
But very often it is you, brothers, who are the reason why she cannot hold back her disgruntled speeches.
Maybe you yourself are constantly looking for flaws in her and therefore she is forced to point out yours to you in response? Or maybe you are not working enough and she is forced to earn money herself in order to fill the gap?
Work on yourself, and she will have less reason to nag.
7. Most of all she wants a stable, happy relationship with you.
Women don’t get married just because they think it will be cool. They are getting married because they want to create a happy family, and they believe that you can give it to her.
In addition to religious obligations, this is the most important thing in her life – a happy, stable Muslim family. And you can give it to her.
1. Change your behavior towards her. Be a good husband. Please. Show her that you love her.
2. Do not threaten with divorce or a second wife. Using such threats can negatively affect your marriage.
3. Trust in Allah, beware of the traps that Shaitan sets. Be patient with her! After all, most of all, Shaitan wants to destroy your marriage.
See, it’s not that difficult, is it?