There are a lot of articles about what a righteous wife should be, how to choose a wife, and what her responsibilities are, but little has been written about righteous husbands and how to choose him. In this material, with God’s help, we will describe a righteous husband , so that it would be easier to choose and define a good husband for our sisters by faith.
In many women’s dreams and dreams, the future husband is some kind of “prince on a white horse.” Of course, every woman wants a family, so that there is a person nearby who can be relied on, who will always “lend a shoulder.”
But in order not to truly be mistaken and to choose someone who will really be a support in life, you need to know the specific signs of such a person, we do not guarantee that a person will be this or that, as they say, “not all that glitters is gold,” but there will be more chances of hitting the target.
As the saying goes, “notified means armed,” that is, if you know the specific attributes of a future righteous husband , then, insha’allah, you will not be mistaken.
CHOOSING A HUSBAND
A husband can be chosen according to the same principle as choosing a wife “religion, beauty, family, property”, if a person does not have all the listed qualities at the same time, then it is necessary to choose according to religion, that is, a truly believing person, and then the woman will be successful in this.
Why choosing the attribute “religious” will a woman succeed? If only because of all that we have listed above, the only thing that will not disappear and will not change, but, on the contrary, will only increase this is religion, religious knowledge.
For example, if you choose according to wealth, which is almost always the case, then you should expect that at any time this person can go bankrupt, and a person who does not have faith in his heart, as a rule, cannot withstand parting with property.
If you look at the genus, you can say “Where is the authority of the genus going?” Yes, the authority of a good kind may not disappear, however, if a person does not have religion, then he will constantly reproach this, and the attitude towards a woman in this “authoritative family”, as a rule, will be like a servant, and not like a wife …
If you look at physical beauty, then it is enough that everyone gets old, and over the years a person does not become younger, and beauty is the first thing that a person loses.
If you look at religiosity and choose a true believer, then this person will have very high life values and a beautiful disposition. A righteous and devout husband is the deliverance of a woman from misfortunes, ignorance in this life and salvation through intercession in eternal life.
One of the righteous ancestors (as-salaf as-salih) married his daughter to his poor student who was studying religious disciplines. When this righteous man was asked: “Why did you give your daughter to this poor disciple?”
Of course, we must admit that any of the listed attributes, if they simultaneously participate in a man or each attribute separately with religion, it will be even better. And if they ask: “and if religious and beautiful” or “religious and rich”, etc., the answer will be: “This is even better, the main thing is that there is religiosity.”
RELIGIOUS HUSBAND
When we say a religious person, we mean a person who knows religion and observes what he knows. And to make it clear why it is with a religious person there will be true happiness in the eternal and in the temporary world, we will write, to what attitude does religion call a husband to his wife?
The most striking example is an example from the life and statements of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) , who said:
خيركم خيركم لأهله ، وأنا خيركم لأهلي. ما أَكْرَم النساءَ إلا كريم ، و لا أهانهنّ إلا لئيم
Meaning: “The best of you is the best for his family (wife), will not respect women (wives) except as a respectable person and will not humiliate them, except as humiliated .” That is, this is an answer to those who think that if he decides everything at home by force and assault and is proud of it, so that he knows “… he will not humiliate a woman , except as humiliated.”
Imagine how much Allah and His Messenger have exalted a woman , that the “Best of Muslims ” is one who is just and treats his wives well. Also in an authentic hadith, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
إنك لن تنفق نفقة تبتغي بها وجه الله إلا ازددت بها درجة ورفعة ، حتى اللقمة تضعها في في امرأتك
Meaning: ” You will glorify before Allah even with a piece (of food) that you put in your wife’s mouth for the sake of Allah .”
The Prophet himself (peace and blessings be upon him) was a very gentle, respectful and understanding husband, he even helped with household chores.
If Muslim men were more zealous in observing religious precepts towards their wives, then they would set the best example and would be of great benefit to their religion.
Also, Islam has placed a very great responsibility on the shoulders of a man. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
كلكم راعٍ ، وكلكم مسؤول عن رعيته
Meaning: ” Each of you (men) is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock ” (Imam al-Bukhari, Imam Muslim). That is, a husband is a shepherd in his family and is responsible for it both to Allah and to society as a whole.
From this it is clear that when we say “before Allah, ” it means that the husband is obliged to correct his wife, if she violates the norms of Islam, to give instructions, and the wife, in turn, must accept comments and thus she, insha’allah, will be one of the righteous women and will be in Paradise, if Allah wills .
HOW NOT TO BE MISTAKEN IN YOUR CHOICE?
Only Allah knows how not to be mistaken in the choice, however we can reduce the error to a minimum.
First of all, I would like to emphasize that on sites and in social networks, as well as by telephone communication, a person cannot be recognized, but on the contrary, you can be very mistaken and disappointed, because in communication a young man, like a girl, will not show himself to of all parties, but will try to please each other in answers and questions.
So the best method is to follow the advice of the parents, that is, to consider the option that they offer. After all, parents are the closest people to their children.
If the parents are mercantile, who look at the property of a potential groom, then the girl can ask her parents to first of all pay attention to a religious, decent person, and then to everyone else.
We think that we have given enough arguments for a woman to understand how and by what criteria she should choose her future husband. Contract Bandhan Media for more details.
May Allah help us !